Conservation 1(SP1)

Anger in the Preservation Sphere

In the E1, the passion of Anger combined with the SP instinct turns the anger against oneself. The Anger of the SP1 is then transformed into worrying about not being perfect. They feel as if they have to be perfect to survive. This 1 is the most perfectionistic, as well as the 1 that hides their anger the most, often you will find this subtype turning their anger outward into warmth, he does not want to let his anger show through. They can feel dirty or that they have a lot to improve in themselves, which gives them an excess of extra pressure. However it is also not uncommon to see these people being extremely critical, both to themselves and to the outer world.

Ichazo called SP1 "Anxiety", someone who is constantly worrying about not being perfect, someone with a compulsive need for self-perfection which results in constant worrying about not meeting those perfect standards. Naranjo says that Anger in the Preservation sphere results in "warm" assertiveness, which is justified through good conduct, a "virtue" that could not be claimed without a corresponding self-demand.

Trait Structure

The inner judge and guilt

As the aggressive part is a taboo, conservation E1 transforms it into a critical attitude. He possesses a highly developed inner judge, a blaming inner voice with which he identifies. The mechanics of perfectionism are provided by this stern inner judge, who judges inside and out, like a radar that tracks what is wrong.

Thus, he is used to blaming himself for almost everything, and judging internally is the only defensive act he can afford.

He is a self-referential individual. It is a selfish character, with a self that is threatened daily, who has a Superego configured to oppose a caged ego. The ego is in the midst of the struggle and fights for its identity. It clearly controls its attributions and its limits, there is a strong Ego, with safe, well-defined identifications, because it needs to feel that way. It is a reinforced, contracted, tense, bodybuilder, hyper-developed Ego.

The feeling of guilt is one of the most prominent features of this subtype, in which the judge and guilt appear intrinsically linked. Guilt is also provided by the emotion of anger turned inward, the continual saying to himself, "I'm doing it wrong," which causes him to blame himself directly. From his very high self-demand, he feels guilty for being the way he is, it is difficult for him to accept and love himself.

"I accept the punishments of the inner judge by positioning myself in guilt, I feel guilty in front of that judge who accuses me, I buy, I believe. My inner judge is like a broken record that keeps repeating, "It's your fault, it's your fault, it's your fault... you were wrong!" I could always have done better, or I could have done something else... At the end of the day, it's the fault of being who I am, the fault of being me;
Therefore, because of that, if I do it because I do it, and if I don't do it, because I don't do it, the question is not to let me live in peace." -Merce Falcó

"I get along badly with my inner judge. We fight with each other. It's as if it suddenly occupies my head and I can't handle anything else. "Because you did it wrong." There comes a time when I say to myself: "Okay, I didn't do wrong, I did wrong". I get angry with myself. And I also get angry with myself because I realize it and wish I could avoid it." -Blanca Martínez

"I was once an air traffic controller in the Navy. One night there was an accident involving a helicopter that was doing an experimental exercise and crashed on a ship. My involvement was to prepare a diagram of how this exercise should be conducted. When the helicopter crashed, all my concern was to go over every detail, as I was part of the pre-flight briefing. I checked if I had explained everything right, if I had made a mistake somewhere, as a way to release my feeling of guilt. It wasn't about closing my eyes and seeing if I was partially responsible or not, but about going over the facts, over and over again, until I saw if I had made a mistake somewhere.” -Quique Seguí

The place from which it is internally situated, is observed and identified is that hyper-demanding judge whose basic polarity is the defendant. As there is a judge, there is a defendant who has committed a crime and deserves punishment. Guilt is an inner voice that accuses you. The psychological defects of inner disqualification lead him to a great devaluation that he will compensate with the search for perfection. We would say that in the psychic world of this subtype, anger is forbidden, but on the other hand, guilt is more than allowed.

It is interesting to learn to differentiate this character from the also polarized and self-accusing social E6. In the case of self-preservation E1 we have a person with a megalomaniacal tendency, arrogant, visceral and, in fact, very "secure" in his
authoritarian and strong Ego, as opposed to the hesitant and dependent Prussian character.

"I discovered that the more demanding I am, the more frustration I encounter. The judge lives off the judgments I make about myself, and if I express how I feel, I don't accumulate anger, the judge is without judgments. Dismantling the judge in me has to do with talking, saying what is happening to me, and also with realizing what I project in the eyes of the other, how I use it to judge myself." -Merce Falcó

"It is arrogant to believe that I am guilty of everything, as if I were God and everything was my responsibility." -Merce Falcó

In this subtype, the feeling of guilt appears related to the child's emotional context of not feeling good enough. Thus, he maintains a very persecutory relationship with himself, a continuous internal recrimination for what he did, or for what he "should have done". He gets angry for not having acted differently - until he ends up feeling and thinking that what he did was the best thing to do - or for not having noticed something important before. The associated irrational ideas are, "I know what's best, I know what's right."

The experience of the fear-guilt axis is hidden under a very structured way of life, not designed for surprises, where the need to be strong, reinforced by his introjection of "I can do anything," buries a long list of fears, to which he reacts as quickly as unconsciously. The focus of his consciousness is concentrated on an ongoing conversation: "I'm not doing this right," and so he continually judges his own behavior, to eventually find one reason and another to confirm his belief. Their high self-demand, coupled with their internal speech of "I'm doing it wrong; I need to watch myself; I need to always be on top, I'm not valid...", reinforces the feeling of guilt, and at the same time conditions their behavior towards the search for perfection and control.

"In my case, it's my fault that I didn't do it well. No matter how good or bad, things had to be done well." -Sérgio Isla

All these internal movements lead you to be more focused on what is not there, on what is missing, on the lack. His desire for perfection is never satisfied, he is self-persecuting and ends up finding something to aim for and in which he needs to improve.
In addition, he has the unconscious nostalgia and the respective crazy idea that when everything is perfect, he will be able to rest, and as he always has countless things to do, he is used to leaving himself to the end, postponing his need for enjoyment.

For some, the feeling of guilt does not seem so pronounced, because before feeling guilt, or not feeling it later, they prefer to make sure that the action is carried out responsibly.

"I connect much less with guilt because I crush myself in the moment. Guilt seems to look back and see how badly I did it. I don't leave myself alone until I get it right." -Sérgio Isla

In adults, the feeling of guilt is much more intense when family rules have been transmitted to the child with a lot of rigidity, tension or screaming, and can become the basis of dysfunctional guilt that only leads to the person's suffering. Guilt is directly related to the frequency and intensity of self-accusation, being a feeling that produces restlessness, pain, anxiety, and regret. Both guilt and anger are for conservation E1 two emotions difficult to sustain due to the intensity with which they feel them, and they will try as quickly as possible to carry out an action that reduces or makes the burden disappear, as well as the uncomfortable sensations they cause.

The control

The mechanical responses of conservation E1 to escape imperfection and guilt are control, effort and rigidity. In his case, the crazy idea of self-perfection is linked to self-control; From the inner feeling of imperfection there is a basic distrust of oneself, that is why it controls itself. The judge watches over the accused, controls him, perfects him.

"For me, relinquishing control is letting myself be, without self-judgment. The crazy idea of self-perfection is linked to self-control. I don't trust myself, that's why I control myself. Control that in me means above all self-control and fear of losing control. Control is a monster that devours me. Life is like that; I can't control it. If not, I enter with fear of life, of the lack of control of life, which I associate with the fear of my mother's emotional lack of control." -Merce Falcó

Although the search for perfection is the fixation of this enneatype, the meaning of "perfect" is different and varies in each person, depending on their particular characteristics. When a conservation E1 considers that "things must be perfect," it's worth asking what it means for something to be perfect. For this character, perfection is basically in having everything reviewed and analyzed from different perspectives. For something "to be perfect" means to have everything under control. We then observe how, essentially, perfection is control. Protecting the child's emotional wound, the automatism of self-control is activated, a way to ensure that no one comes to tell me that I am doing wrong or demand that I do better, hence the origin of the need for control.

"Perfect, in my opinion, and above all that I have everything under control, that everything is processed according to what I think is the right thing to do. I also relate this to inflexibility. Things are as they are, and they can say whatever they want things to be. That rigidity to explore other paths. Things are as they are, and having everything under control and not being surprised makes us inflexible and rigid." -Blanca Martínez

Since for this subtype perfection is control, the first thing we find in the sphere of self-preservation is excessive control of one's behavior; and then, control in relation to others or the world, on many occasions, as a way of reducing the severe internal self-demand. External control usually appears in the work situations in which he is involved, with the aim of making the best of it.

"Showing anger is something I experience as a failure because I couldn't control myself. Hence the shame, the guilt, the sadness. But self-control is constant." -Quique Seguí

"I control everything. And to this day I don't allow myself, now I'm an adult, I don't have a father, I don't have a guardian, no one to tell me how to do things, but I have the inner judge who tells me “This is right, this is wrong", in every task I do, at every stop, at every traffic light, in every line at the supermarket." -Sérgio Isla

With others, he is an adaptive, kind, and caring type. This is his way of creating a cordial environment that avoids what he fears most: violence, to which he is hypersensitive.

As long as you don't feel emotionally repaired with the other, the dormant volcano of anger will mobilize again. In conservation E1, it is a volcano with lava at great depth, which seems deactivated and spits smoke and ash.

Instead of being aggressive and doing direct and vehement justice, he will remain silent and indignant. He avoids getting angry, he swallows his anger while swallowing his angry words. "The emotions are low-level."

Evidently, he not only self-controls the expression of anger, but most emotions.
In general, the emotional world makes him uncomfortable, since it is something unknown o him, it makes him afraid. Let's remember that he was not a spontaneous child, who was not able to express himself or throw a tantrum; comes from a childhood with a repressive and emasculating upbringing in the emotional sphere, both in experimentation and
expression.

Emotionally, he did not feel seen or cared for, and in his case, what was required or rewarded was self-control and rigidity. Therefore, the contact with emotions, the more intense, the more unsettling.

"When I was a child, I didn't feel seen when I was going through an emotional moment, but when I controlled myself. For example, we would go to my aunt's house and...: "Look what you're doing!" I'm trained in this, not the other. I never suspected that there could be satisfaction in the emotional world. And, out of ignorance, I was afraid. It's a terrain I don't know, and if I don't know it, I can't control it. The emotional world of the other is disturbing to me because I can't control it." -Quique Seguí

"I didn't see emotions at home, I didn't see them for better or for worse. It was all a very encephalic-1 environment, very controlled, emotions were not shown above, but not below either." -Sérgio Isla

Consequently, control gives him a sense of calm and peace: when everything is under control, he feels like he can rest. Also, on an unconscious level, control puts him in a place of power: to be in control is to believe that he dominates the situation and that things happen because of him. In any case, the result is an excessive control and a great expenditure of energy to obtain the neurotic assurance that no one will come to tell you that they are doing wrong.

"Often, I say, "I'm at peace," and it's because I have everything under control. It's not that I've relaxed, it's that everything is under control. That's the basis. It's difficult, it's very strong, we're social beings, but I feel a little asocial. What is behind happiness, or what is most attainable, which is peace, serenity, I have achieved it in safe and controlled environments, knowing where the bull is going to come to me, knowing what I have around me. That is, I am at peace, but at the same time in control. Let's say I make war to achieve peace." -Sérgio Isla

I was not only afraid of the expression of emotion, but also of overly emotional people. I saw it all as a little fake. Because it was like that in my upbringing, somehow you take away value; If you take value at home, you take value completely. When I argue, if suddenly someone cries, I come out and say, "Be a little grown-up." -Sérgio Isla

The relationship with authority

In relation to authority, E1 demonstrates a greater and passionate interest in abstract norms, their values and beliefs about what is right or wrong, than in the concrete authority of people. And this, in interpersonal relationships, becomes an instrument of domination and manipulation because it imposes these same norms on others and, above all, because it wants to be right. That is why he puts himself above the rest: he likes to give advice; he knows what would be good for others...

Whether because of the need for justice, intrinsic to this character, or because of the specialized view of what is lacking, they have difficulties in trusting authority. They can maintain a posture of distrust in front of it; or, in the other polarity, if they feel that it acts from ethical principles and justice, they idealize it, accept it and follow its precepts with devotion. Although this character adheres to a hierarchical view of reality and feels respect for authority in an abstract sense, deep down he distrusts and submits only to people in a position of undisputed authority. As he is a character specialized in observing defects, he requires authority not only to know the subject, but also to know how to exercise command without aggressiveness, but with authority.

The need for control and his narcissism in feeling more prepared will cause him to exercise a dominant style over others when he is confident. His relationship with the will to power is polite, but insistent. He will put himself in a position of leadership and forget to give up shifts or open rounds of listening in the eventual decision-making. He practices this art of domination without overt aggressiveness, and his antennae always make him move with precision avoiding criticism, so he modulates his invasion as he goes.

In general, he is at ease in relationships framed in a hierarchical organization. He privileges order and respects hierarchies, and scrupulously occupies managerial positions, showing a particular obedience to authority, a projection that, in reality, hides a deep need to be obeyed. In short, he seeks relationships in which he can be confirmed in a dominant role, and where his good and respectable self-image is not threatened. He tends to dominate in relations with subterfuge, seeking to predominate precisely because he is virtuous and because of his ethical or moral stature: "I have power because I deserve it". In addition, he is interested in power and money, but hides it even from himself. Considering that he does not perceive anger, his tendency to want to predominate in interpersonal relationships is also not very visible to him. Thus, it manifests dominance not directly and explicitly, but through a series of secondary strategies.

"I have difficulty recognizing authority, they have to prove to me that they are an authority on the subject they are dealing with. If they prove me, I will go with them to death. "Okay, you lead me, but you have to prove to me that you know more about it than I do, if you prove it to me I have no problem." I need to validate authority. If he is not better than me, he will not command me and, besides, in addition to knowing the subject or not, he has to know how to command. But if he doesn't know how to command, he's no good either." -Quique Seguí

"What I do is judge that this person is not the right person to be there because he is not doing what I consider, what should be done. It's unfair, or it's immoral, or it's breaking the rules, and that's where my judge is ruthless." -Blanca Martínez

"The municipality has to comply with each and every one of the requirements that I consider to be there. I, at least, take all the flaws, all the flaws, a very critical view, because it is not up to the task. But maybe it's because I think I'm the one who is up to the task." -Lola Reboredo

He relates to parents and authority figures usually with obedience and false respect; and he often does so for utilitarian purposes, in order to receive recognition and associate himself with the privileges of power. Normally, he adopts complacent attitudes, thus keeping before them the mask of virtue; However, in case of dissent, he can take an antagonistic position, but not directly, but in the form of passive resistance and opposition.

Respect for laws and social norms

On the other hand, whether it is due to the lack of contact with his needs and desires, or due to his great self-criticism, or due to that distorted conscience for which he does not believe he deserves or has a right, it is difficult for him to say "I want to".
Therefore, he transforms it into "I must, it is due, it is opportune, it is fair". He adopts, therefore, a strategy of covering his desires, whose explicit expression he replaces with the call to respect social laws and rules, and adherence to moral norms and abstract principles.

"Even if I disagree with the norm, I accept it, and demand that it be applied in a general way, for me as well; Even if I disagree with it, I firmly believe that the norm allows us to live in society." -Quique Seguí

With a rigid mind and attachment to "what is right", they are people with a strong sense of justice. The E1 conservation protects itself under the protection of laws and social norms to defend itself and, in this way, compensates for its need to be right, originating in the childhood wound of injustice. Thus, he ends up feeling that he is in possession of the truth, which reinforces his security, which, on the other hand, gives him a feeling of superiority over others. Feeling in possession of the truth is a reactive defense mechanism that gives you the security to act and, at the same time, it is also a compensation for the continuous self-judgment about whether "I will do right or wrong".

In this way, you balance the fear of making mistakes, which can be very blocking, with the conviction of possessing the truth. Showing that you are clear and not giving a sense of failure is also a defensive shield, an image of strength and security.

"I think it has to do with that resolute and uncontrollable image that I usually give. So, I speak in such a way that my truth is the truth. It seems that I chose everything in an instant and I have no doubts. But it has to do with those moments when I'm paralyzed to make a decision, whether I make the right decision or not, which has to do with perfection. However, what I conveyed is that I had it clear and precise from the beginning. It has to do with the way I show or say things. I've always been told, "You say things for sure..." It is like this. And when I say it, it's because I believe, I firmly believe in it. That feeling of certainty with which I say it, that expression of "I am in the truth"." -Blanca Martínez

"The truth allows me to move; Having the conviction that I have the truth is what allows me to act. Without this certainty, I cannot make decisions." -Quique Seguí

Responsibility and seriousness

E1's protective tendency towards conservation leads him to exercise a paternalistic authoritarianism with which he imposes his cult of purity, expecting from others the same self-control and self-discipline that he demands of himself. It is common for him to put himself at the service of the most fragile and disadvantaged people and protect them, maintaining a certain emotional distance.

During his childhood he occupied a place of responsibility that did not correspond to him, he was given or was given that role. As a child, she complied with the rules of the family home, the schedules, helped her mother with household chores or with her younger siblings. He internalizes parental rules and prohibitions, and then social ones, identifying himself with his Superego. In this way, he proposes or renounces his desires; The guardian of this internalized normative code is the self-blaming judge who will be called upon every time he transgresses his own rules, making him feel guilty and preventing him from feeling or connecting with his needs.

The child realizes that if he does not bother, help and is responsible and autonomous, he will get the love he seeks. He will eventually suffer from an excessive sense of responsibility, shaping the mask of a good child. In turn, this excessive responsibility will bring with it a feeling of isolation and loneliness.

"I helped my mother, she worked, and I had to take care of my siblings. The responsibility of having to do things and not being able to go out and have fun, that happened to me a lot; In the afternoons or on Saturdays, my friends from school would go out and I would have to help my mother at home or be with my siblings." -Merce Falcó

"In my training as a coach I recognized two of my "characters": the Frustrated and the "Christian" Jesus. I had a serious behavior since childhood. From what I saw on a day-to-day basis, it became increasingly clear that my parents were incapable of taking care of me or my brother, of managing their affairs and our economy, of maintaining their stable relationship, even if it was for us. I played it on myself: constant work, absolute austerity at home, not going out to party or travel..., but I didn't know what to do, or how, and I felt irresponsible when I worried about my loved ones. Year after year, everything remained the same, and it got worse. It was so serious because life was a constant and painful loss, a collapse little by little, because I helplessly presided over the inevitable funeral of my family." -Cristian Moreno

Accustomed to being responsible since childhood, it often happens that, in their adult relationships, they end up overprotecting, or taking on responsibilities that are not theirs, and if the other does not want or cannot do more, they may find themselves attending to and taking care of issues that do not correspond to them.

"Now I see better and try to distance myself, but not before: things have to be done, they have to be resolved, and that was me. And sometimes I also do things for other people because of my impatience and speed, even if those people didn't ask me to do it. And then it bothers me when they don't even thank me. Now, if they ask me something, I will do it, but if they don't ask me, I won't go; as I did before." -Blanca Martínez

"I infantilize the people by my side, I help them without them asking and, on top of that, I don't let them learn how to solve their problems. Result: the next time they come to ask me to do it again." -Quique Seguí

In this character, along with responsibility, we find seriousness: they are children who in childhood did not have fun around them. Instead, what they had was responsibility, and they turned out to be serious people, as denoted by the tone of their voice, the gestures of their face, and their movements.

Moralist, puritan

An excessive concern arises with everything that might evoke a feeling of prohibition and violation of absolute moral principles. Modesty and morality are activated to contrast all forms of "ruin" and "vulgarity". Attacking, rebelling, giving rise to the sexual instinct, giving in to pleasure, giving space to aspects conceived as selfish, become true taboos, just as they were forbidden in the family home. To oppose these, traits and tendencies are structured, such as inner moral perfectionism, moralism, puritanism, intentional kindness, anti-hedonism, etc.

Virtuous

In the end, the task of repressing instincts and inhibiting the free flow of their energy results in a well-educated, well-meaning, virtuous-looking person. The formation of reactions also has the function of removing unacceptable impulses from consciousness and maintaining unconscious emotions, including the anger generated by the mechanism itself. If, on the one hand, the effort to be better implies a self-frustration that keeps anger alive, on the other hand, the good intentions that sustain intentional kindness, kindness and personal altruism, hide the perception of being angry and of being evil or selfish; This is how he gives himself a deceptive self-image of being a virtuous and well-intentioned person. Virtuosity is based on the belief that he does what he does what he is good to do, with behavior consistent with what he says.

Helpful, benevolent

There is a useful attitude that can be seen in the character of SP1, Claudio Naranjo defines it as an "excessive disposition to obedience". Not feeling worthy of love, he strives to please from his complacent and even servile mask. In general, in childhood they were good children, they did not rebel, some for fear of an excessively severe authority, others because they observed obedience or submission as the behavior of one of the parents.

"I felt that if I did everything my mother told me, she would love me. And that never happened. I'm sure I tried every way I could, and yet I never achieved my mother's love or approval." -Merce Falcó

"Being helpful is a way to get the attention and affection of the other." -Blanca Martínez

In a family environment of great demand and rigidity, the child seeks the approval of his parents through his good behavior, while at the same time he feels continuously frustrated for never achieving what is expected of him, the ideal. Thus, he becomes more helpful in trying to get the love and approval he needs. I did well, according to the rules,
I did what you told me. “Now are you going to love me?” Putting oneself at the service of the other, of others or of the group, is part of the "programming of good" that we find in this character, an intentional kindness that seeks to feel love through the appreciation and respect of others. This programming for the good ends up becoming a mask that
tightens and tightens; moreover, in many cases, he suffers his own goodness. Being useful becomes an unconscious seduction strategy to achieve love and feel considered, valued, needed.

His tendency to idealize also leads him, in interpersonal relationships, to place himself in a useful position before the other, person or cause, to which he attributes an ethical or moral greatness that leads him to place himself in a position of service. In childhood he maintained an idealized relationship with one of his parents, or idealized in their absence, or realized that he had exceptional qualities of strength or virtue.

Clinging to his "good boy" image, he seeks approval in this helpful attitude. His obedient and accommodating behavior gives him security; He can wave automatically while rebelling inwardly. He acts solicitously while the unexpressed judgment of others and self-judgment fills him internally with anger.

"I'm good with my hands, doing carpentry or whatever; Well, people asked me for help, and I did it, but one thing is help and another thing is addiction, and in the end, I said: "You're going to do it, at least try, right?" And learning to say "no" cost me the same life. And the filter, in the end, was to ask myself, "Do I want to do this?" and to answer to myself that it's been very difficult for me to know what I wanted." -Quique Seguí

"I need the other person to approve of me — it's an unfinished business, one I couldn't get with my mom — and I'm going to get him to approve of me by becoming the helpful girl: 'Tell me what you want, and I'll bring it to you.' I want nothing more than "to love is to take care of the other", for you to love me for what I do for you, and that's exactly what I encourage, because I put myself in a useful mode as a mechanism of seduction. I "see" myself as useful to attract the other, when in reality I like to follow my path and the other goes to theirs. I accept that this is my strategy." -Merce Falcó

Many have received the message, direct or indirect, that "to love" is to obey, or to care for the other, or to put oneself at their service. Hence, his own authority, also questioned by the internal judge, places it over the other in search of approval. And at the same time, it constitutes its own egoic trap, as it leads it to constantly try, trying to act correctly to win the love and respect of others.

Accountable

The assumption of a series of responsibilities begins early in childhood and continues for the rest of life; it is, therefore, a character that is structured around responsibility and obligation, which assumes the sense of "doing what needs to be done" and, subsequently, becomes automatic through which one ends up assuming obligations that do not concern him, or creating responsibilities that no one asked for. Being a responsible child is a family mandate that is given from the earliest years to someone who has suffered the consequence of having lost childhood at an early age. The simple act of asking yourself what you want or what you need is completely unknown to you, it does not enter your vocabulary.

"As soon as I wake up and open an eye, the first thing that pops into my head is, 'What do I have to do today?' and a whole list of obligations appears before me. I am impressed to realize that I move through the world from an energy of action, linked to work, responsibility and obligations. Realizing that the place from which I look at the world, what motivates me to act, the place from which I do things, is an obligation." -Merce Falcó

"Obligation is obligation! I move by obligations. That loyalty is ultimately duty, the duty of "it must be done." That's what we have to do, what we have to do now is... And there is the fact that everything has to be done well and the responsibility to do it well." -Blanca Martínez

"I discover the girl underneath all the obligations I impose on myself. When I lose touch with myself, I become addicted to the automatism of obligations, that self-importance machine of doing, doing, doing, I don't see what I need." -Merce Falcó

Industrious

The effort and expenditure of energy used are enormous and they invest relentlessly in being better than they are, compulsively trying to adapt to their own internal dictates.

"I don't take flattery well; I also have difficulty doing them. You have to do things well just for the sake of it, and not expect any reward. Demand and perfection." -Blanca Martínez

"It's never good enough, I'm never satisfied because I can always improve it, so it's like a river that carries you, that you have to say: 'So far!' Because my deadline was coming, and it was great, but I was improving, I was improving, I was receiving articles, I was changing commas, looking for synonyms, so that it was the best possible, but it was all very neurotic. And it was good! But it could be better. So, it is a chain that needs to be stopped. If not, I'll wait until the last day, and not because I'm not satisfied, but because I can still do better." -Lola Reboredo

Dissatisfaction

The antagonism with reality and the non-acceptance of what one is, nourishes and accumulates an additional resentment that makes these individuals dissatisfied, serious and, sometimes, even gloomy people.

"I need to accept myself as I am. If I give up demand, self-benevolence, self- indulgence, I am perfect; The other and the world are perfect, and I can rest." -Merce Falcó

It is quite common for the conservation subtype to encounter frustration, in the sense that its expectations are not met, mainly because of its high self-demand. He is a rigid character, with a tendency not to accept reality and to cling to idealism, which ends up becoming a continuous source of frustration.

He believes that instead of adapting to reality, it is reality that must adapt to his ideal, so it is difficult for him to accept that life imposes limits on him, and as a result he feels frustration again, and in this way, he resents again the frustration of a very rigid upbringing. in which he received many no's.

"I get angry because I don't accept the limits that life now imposes on me, or I don't accept the actions of the other; I feel like I don't deserve to be limited because I behaved well – just as I did as a child – and that's what fuels anger and frustration." -Merce Falcó

He believes he is a very flexible person, which is not true, as he has difficulty accepting reality. That is why it needs to be reformed, modified, and the river pushed forward.
When a situation frustrates him because it is not as he wanted, the conservation E1 can get very angry, but he is not aware of it: as anger is his most common emotional background, he does not even realize it.

At the base, there is a great anger, a "for me there is none" that takes him back to the repeated occasions when the only answer he received was "no!". More than a low level of frustration tolerance, it is that having repeated the theme of frustration many years in a row at the family university, it fills him with resentment to meet him again. On the other hand, frustration is related to the obsessive tendencies of this enneatype: he tries and fails, tries again and fails, engaging in the insistent attempt to prove repeatedly that he can work "right".

Frustrated, Resentful

In the conservation subtype, with this energy directed toward oneself, self-judgment begins when it is frustrated. This is how the well-oiled mechanism of demand, control, frustration, impotence, worry, is set in motion by wrapping the wheels in an endless motion. They need to give themselves margin, learn to make mistakes, they are children who were not allowed to make mistakes, so it is difficult for them to deal with situations of frustration and get entangled in them.

The conservationist subtype is born of frustration when it relinquishes control and goes towards humility, which allows it to understand that not all desires are fulfilled, or not as expected, that life also brings us lessons through its limits, every frustration implies a lesson, it is a limit that life puts on us to learn and change our perspective.

Resentment is a psychic mechanism that arises in this character, systematically repressing the discharge of certain emotions, especially anger; It occurs when they reexperience pain that they cannot express from their inability to react to aggression. In general, anger is reactive to a present situation, whereas in the case of conservation, anger seems to be an accumulation that comes from the past, from all the anger not expressed at the moment.

"At 14, my parents put me to work, and I had been a very good student. And then I have a resentment because he asks: "Why didn't they let me continue studying?" " -Quique Seguí

"When I feel angry, I say to myself, "It's not a big deal, take it easy," and I convince myself, but only to the rational part of me. The emotional part gets stuck in the injustice received and in the anger." -Merce Falcó

In general, resentment has its origin in an experience of continued injustice, having assumed responsibilities in childhood and made efforts far beyond their means and that were not seen or perceived. She sacrifices and muzzles her "childish" side and, therefore, barely develops the playful dimension and pleasure. The hypercontrol it exerts at the behavioral level determines the inhibition of spontaneity. He is afraid of losing control over himself, as certainly happened to one of his parents.

Resentment is a persistent anger that cannot be forgotten or expressed, as a continual attachment to anger. He then gets stuck in that resentful energy with a sense of injustice in the face of what happened, the belief that what happened could have been different, and the feeling that now he can no longer do anything about it. Thus, he enters into an internal dialogue of anger towards the other person for a damage received; On many occasions, the damage is not feeling met in a need such as being respected, listened to or valued, as happened as a child.

"The resentment comes from not having expressed myself assertively in my life. It's not what's happening now, but what I'm reliving from my childhood wound of injustice. There is no possible containment there, the anger is infinite. And resentment is absurd, everyone does what they can or knows, I know that. So why get hooked? Now, if you use a bad tone of voice with me, respond from the same aggressive instinct with a confrontational message. Punch the table. If I have to scream, I know too." -Merce Falcó

"I always stopped saying that nothing hurts me, because I felt so much pain, and so much feeling of being scolded or humiliated by others when I felt it, that I thought I would break myself if I let go. But I'm "good" and I don't take revenge on those who hurt me. From so many wounds badly closed, and so much repression of what is really in me, I looked at the world with resentment, with a desire for revenge, I wanted to be the best and have the power to show that I was able to resist and have the means and authority to take revenge." -Cristian Moreno

He maintains a behavior of conflict avoidance, when confronted directly, but through criticism and judgment, which does not seduce distances of coldness in relationships, which, at first, reduces the feeling of anger, but the unexpressed resentment is retained internally, like an anchor that does not let him move forward.

"They told me to study, but then they asked me to work in the family business... At some point I thought: "Damn, my brothers could study, and as long as they wanted". And I was there, but it didn't last long, because I said, "Okay, I could have studied, but that wasn't the reality. And I have the need, to continue advancing, to put this in its place. To say, okay, it wasn't like that, but what now, do I want to study now?" I mean, if I put responsibility first, I don't have resentment for what could have been, I try to get out of that situation and take responsibility and say to myself, "Hey, yes, it happened that way. It could have happened differently, that they forced me to study, yes, but I have to let go, I can't be there; I take responsibility and, if I want to study now, I do it." -Sérgio Isla

"Omeprazole is my bedside table book for this magician's pains. If there's anyone who has the ability to make my stomach hurt, it's my partner, or rather, the me interacting with my partner. It's the only medicine I take regularly, every week or fortnightly." -Quique Seguí

"Any tension that I somatize, goes directly to the stomach, I was for years without being able to have dinner because of the tension that was generated with my ex-partner, the food seemed terrible and took hours and hours to digest; My stomach expressed discomfort that I didn't express." -Merce Falcó

Fearful, tense

In this enneatype, fear is an emotion that is not registered, it ignores it and, thus, ends up becoming a generalized body tension, which is responsible for the energy generated from fear. As a child, when repressing the energy of anger, it is customary to tense, tense and block muscle groups, tendons and viscera in the stomach, intestines, gallbladder, kidneys... Tension and tension eventually become your defensive system. He lives in a contracted body, with repressed energy, which does not know what freedom of movement is.

His body repressed all emotions that could not be shown in the family environment; In this way, emotions such as fear, and anger are not perceived. This is how muscle tension and contraction become your way of feeling them. They are people who exercise great control over their bodies. Behind this bodily tension is the child's fear of what is to come, punishment, anger, indifference, if he does not meet the high expectations of his environment.
Unlike the sexual subtype, which draws energy outward, conservation maintains this static energy, based on inhibition and blockage, feeling that it was what guaranteed survival. At the same time that he demonstrates great psychic strength, combined with the childish introjection of "I can do anything", on the other hand, physical health often represents the weak point of this character.

Contacting, supporting, and accompanying yourself through fear involves becoming aware of your body and learning to relax your muscles. Release energetic stasis through movement and body expression. Nourish the body with feelings of freedom.

"It's not that I'm demanding with my body, it's just that I don't look at it or take it into account, it has to follow my rhythm and I don't realize it. I don't normally listen. And on top of that, if he complains, I scold him. I say, "Come on, now let's start with nonsense!" -Blanca Martínez

"The shoulders, usually very tense. They carry a great sense of responsibility. The neck appears more tense in the cervical region, where emotions are controlled, and accentuated by the pressure of the masseurs due to bruxism, characteristic of this subtype, and a clear example of the enormous energy used to contain anger. The shoulders, neck, and back are the area’s most susceptible to contracture. We also find a lack of flexibility, rigid bones with a tendency to osteoporosis or stiffness in the joints. In my case, I have bad joints. I've already had two surgeries on my left knee, two surgeries on my back, I'm waiting to have surgery on my right knee... The feeling is a bit like a tin soldier, that if you bend your arm it breaks." -Quique Seguí

"I had to break a vertebra to understand, I was so used to pushing my body to the limit that I didn't even notice. I beat myself to walk and the next day I said: "Oops, it hurts here, I don't understand; if I didn't do anything!" And my partner was laughing, "Damn; with the beating you gave yourself yesterday, don't you remember?" I didn't remember, I didn't understand, I didn't understand the relationship between what I did yesterday and what I did today." -Merce Falcó

With the continuous control and tension of anger, brain activity and the balance of the nervous and cardiovascular systems are also altered, blood pressure, heart rate, hormones such as adrenaline, noradrenaline or cortisol increase; In addition, there is an excess of bile secretion in the liver, which is expelled by the gallbladder, so the latter suffers from it.

"I became physically aware of how anger works. Before having the surgery, my gallbladder was very swollen, very sensitive. I could feel, when I got angry, how my gallbladder ached and heated, with an internal purr. Then I looked at my thoughts and became addicted to something my son had done: "It's the same again, there's no right, I can't do these things...", as soon as I realized and let go of the obsessive thought, the pain suddenly subsided, and I understood how I cling to anger in an inner resentment, I don't let go of it and it stays there, with his running, circling, physically assaulting me while I harbor emotions of anger and resentment." -Merce Falcó

Pure, obsessive

The obsession with maintaining order in your things and in the house reflects intolerance of chaos, especially the internal chaos of emotions and instincts. "Disorder," which is intrinsic to life, he experiences as a mistake, as if things are not working well, and thinks that everything can be fine if they are in order, according to his logic. Even interpersonal problems can be solved by putting them in order, he believes.

Obsessive behavior gives you back the security of being able to have everything under control and thus avoids deeper contact with emotions, especially sadness or helplessness.

He is also obsessive about cleanliness, reflecting a desire for purity, an ideal of a "sinless" person.

Severe

There is also a severity that in some can reach masochistic extremes, not only because pleasure is subject to duty, but also because of the accentuated puritanism that opposes the free flow of the play of instincts. The tendency to correct oneself and severity towards oneself and others leads one to be serious and disciplined.

Claudio Naranjo's Self-Preservation 1 Description

E1 Conservation (Self-Preservation) – Worry

Ichazo called anguish to the passion characteristic of the one conservation. However, he preferred to use the word worry. It could be said, in fact, that in this type of person concern is a real passion. And it's not just behavior that can be described as worrying too much — or even feeling a need to worry — but they worry about things that are okay, and sometimes spoil what they touch by trying to fix what doesn't need fixing. This need to worry can be understood as an exaggerated need for foresight and to have everything under control, in turn motivated by a fear that its survival or conservation will be threatened.

In reality, the image he has of himself is that of being too imperfect and that is why his activity becomes a constant and obsessive improvement of himself. His anger, on the other hand, hides behind a friendly benevolence and an attitude of service that does not allow his anger and resentment to show through. That is, it transforms his anger into goodwill.