Sexual 5(SX5)

Avarice in the Sexual Sphere

As the instinct of relations leaks into the passion of Avarice, it gives a highly conflicting character, it is a greed for one-on-one relationships. This character wanders life as a withdrawn and distrustful person, withholding itself from social interaction in fear of being hurt. Yet, they idealize the idea of trust, they need someone to feel safe with, a refuge. Due to lack of love growing up they become some type of hopeless romantic. Because of their distrusting nature, they hold back of their affection for fear of being rejected, only once a deep bond is created that they can let their guard down and truly show the real them, and then a very vibrant side is released. When finally becoming transparent, they expect for nothing more than for the figure they are becoming intimate with to reveal all of themselves as well, as trust is what matters the most.

Ichazo called the SX5 "Confidence", a need for someone to feel safe with, a person of refuge, an excessive demand for trust and to be able to trust and love. Naranjo would define avarice in the sexual instinct as an invasive possessiveness that demands trust and surrender as excessive as their need for love is excessive.

Trait Structure

Fragile body in a nonconformist spirit

With sexual children, it is common to hear stories of a first childhood of suffering, not only due to the emotional impact of the parents but also due to physical fragility.
One person recounts that at the age of ten months he suffered from a severe allergy, which almost led to his death, due to spoiled powdered milk. Breast milk had been withdrawn at three months, and there was inaugurated little physical contact and a life marked by illness.
These reports of early loss of contact with the mother associated with the experience of being very close to death are common. Thinkers of this subtype like Wordsworth and Rousseau lost their mothers when they were still children. And both the French thinker and Chopin had childhoods marked by illness and closeness to death. The Polish musician and his sister were taken, as children, by a very strong flu, which resulted in her death. From then on, for Chopin, it was as if death was always at his side.
In the same proportion as this physical fragility, there is an intense desire for power: the sexual E5 does not accept his fragile condition.

In need of harmony, to flee to nature

Since contact with the other destabilizes the sexual E5, an inhospitable environment can be lethal. The person of this character, due to his fear of being swallowed, needs the contact to translate into a harmonious environment.
The aforementioned Chopin from an early age isolated himself to play the piano and, in the end, as there was harmony in George Sand's house, he enjoyed a happy and productive life. Sand was more of a mother to Chopin than a lover, and she hardly demanded of him.
The sexual E5 finds much of this harmony in contact with nature, his divine muse, with whom, yes, he maintains a unilateral relationship, favored by the silence of his inspirer. He will also seek a refuge in nature to organize his inner chaos. Nature becomes the idealized 'woman' or 'man', where she believes she will find answers to her questions.
“This was how I managed to forget the chaos of my family life and "empty" some of the passion I felt for a girl.” – Alexandre V.

Arid and at the same time hypersensitive

Given its retention, when a sexual E5 tries to express himself authentically, what he finds is very dry. Alongside the disconnection of feeling, there is the idea that to feel is to explode, to lose oneself, perhaps even to die.
And at the same time, it presents a hypersensitivity that does not coincide with its arid and distant appearance, a by-product of the low vitality of the body and spirit.
“If I am very open to what is happening around me, I suffer a lot. I spare myself that sensitivity with a neck split that separates my emotions from thought.” – Mara G.
In fact, such a low threshold for physical and emotional pain is the backdrop for an almost deserted posture of feeling. The sexual Five prefers not to enter a field that can evoke their most primal pains. And this is how aridity and hypersensitivity feed off each other. It is as if there was an extreme pain somewhere in himself that, if revived, he could not bear and would pay with his life.

Easily destabilized

The feeling that his resources are so scarce leads him to succumb to the other. Anyone who appears in his way tactfully makes him lose with his own desires. The other destabilizes the sexual E5.
”I lose myself in front of the other. I withdraw from my internal axis; I find myself facing external demands that exhaust me and I feel the need to isolate myself to recharge my batteries. It is my need for solitude.” – Mara G. 
The person of this character was so invaded in his childhood that even today he lives with the feeling of that exposure -and the weakness to defend himself- and stays in the rear so that they do not invade him too much in a phagocytizing contact.

Nostalgic

Nostalgia has tied the sexual E5, stagnant by an excessive attachment to the past that prevents him from assuming responsibility for his life and moving forward. He lives in the nostalgia of enlightened times that no longer exist, and perhaps did not even exist, full of idealizations.
He finds no joy in living, no lightness in being sexual, no brilliance. He doesn't indulge in playfulness; he doesn't play and he doesn't value little things (because they don't belong to the divine sphere).
“Nostalgia, eternal nostalgia that always consumed me," he said Chopin, who had lived in Paris from a very young age, but people from Poland were always the source of his images and pen feelings. "Twilight": that's what they called the states of mood of the composer.

Helpless

Existential helplessness is present from childhood.
“Sometimes I was playing and suddenly the world disappeared under my feet. I lost ground. It was sudden and brief but I felt extremely lonely.” – Alexandre V.
“Helplessness seems so common to me that I feel as if it were the covers me It's like having no skin.” – Mara G.

Does not assert its place in the world

One of the consequences of his psychic split is the neglect of the social and professional dimensions, where he is doomed to a routine and simple life. The desire for external freedom, a reflection of the lack of internal freedom, cannot be satisfied and is then transformed into the opposite features of systematicity and rigidity, similar to those of the E1.
He has succumbed to the neurosis of financial security and the comfort of an institution, while remaining with a boiling heart and excessive fantasy as compensation for a routinely life, as well as a desire to always go somewhere else.
Until the age of forty-six, ten years before he died, Nietzsche worked hard in solitude and anonymity. He pressed himself cruelly because he could no longer bear his lack of recognition. Just like Rousseau, at thirty-eight still a "nobody," as he was called. Inside there was an indomitable spirit, but he had not been able to affirm his place in the world.
“At the moments when I realize how much I closed my life off from friendships and from my work, which is the reality from which I was fleeing, through refuge and fantasy. In the end, I ended up doing little concretely, and when I look back a "feeling of urgency" comes over me. It's like looking back and seeing a gap between what I'm being right now and what I've been in my life, with a lack of "continuity." I realize that I lived in a kind of “forgetfulness” of myself and that now that this is the case I have to run. And again, there is a very strong call to enter the world of fantasy and inactivity, as if everything was already lost.” – Alexandre V.

Worthless

An outstanding trait of Greed is not feeling worthy, due to a lack of vitality to face challenges. This, in the sexual instinct, coexists with excessive and grandiose fantasy. The result: unrealistic and unfinished projects. The E5 sexual easily renounces his life projects. «I rarely completed what I set out to do», «I never delved into anything I did».
An abyss of oblivion opens between planning and acting: a great gap between fantasy and action. In his thinking, he manages to maintain a level of motivation that, when heading towards the sphere of action, is lost. A great distance is perceived between what he wanted and what, for the moment, he is ready to carry out. It is another result of psychic and bodily splitting and fragmentation.

Undisciplined

Here is another trait that contributes to this state of inaction. From thought to action, motivation and determination disappear and thus a disciplined life is difficult.
An indiscipline that is also the result of forgetfulness and de-vitalization. Operates here, the irrational idea of not being able to complete a stage of your life and move on, because "completion" means letting go and opening up to the new. To which is added that internal mechanism that prevents him from seeing any of his rights (minimizing his desires), in addition to a perfectionism that makes him believe that he is never ready. Deep down, the sexual E5 feels like a son who is not allowed to separate from his mother, which reveals his false autonomy.

Vengeful; not doing what is expected

The psychodynamics of withdrawal include a subtle but effective act of rebellion. Sometimes it is an act of revenge against the demands of that internalized, hypercritical and severe mother, with her perennial: "You don't finish anything you start!". The result of this conflict between internal demands and the rebellion of not doing is guilt and failure.

Guilty feeling

Feeling guilty for a sexual E5 is closely linked to the awareness that their isolation is a form of revenge, of aggression. Guilt leads him, therefore, to resign himself.
“Perhaps my most frequent feeling of guilt is about not having energy. I blame myself for it and that takes away my energy to act, it's a vicious circle. I realize that guilt is a way of maintaining the feeling of victimization, of keeping myself small.” – Maria Luisa F.
A childhood full of demands and messages of undervaluation, and of feeling undeserving, is common:
“Everything my mother gave me came with guilt. When she gave me a toy or clothes, she would say, "I stopped giving it to myself to give it to you!" These messages corroborated the feeling of poverty, scarcity and, above all, that of not being worthy of something positive in life. I perceive any change in my partner's mood as if it were against me, because of me. So, I react like a child or a teenager: I shut myself in and isolate myself, and I feel even more guilty about that estrangement.” – Alexandre V.

Selfish and self-centered

By idealizing the partner, or the one with whom he has an affective relationship, the sexual E5 does not see him as a different person from him, with his own emotions and needs. You need a partner who shows extreme loyalty to your way of life (the idealization of trust). The other is someone who has to conform to him totally so that he can feel that there is love. And, above all, be always available, even guessing what you want; in the end, a mirror that reflects your image. The very organization of the activities or of the time will have to be in accordance with its rhythm; Only then will the other be a true reliable ally.

Arrogant

He can deny the defensiveness of isolation, convincing himself that his is a special world, that he himself is special and therefore cannot be in relationship with "ordinary" beings. It is about his difficulty behind that image of superiority or unattainable person. And he closes himself in his world of ideas, convinced that he understands something subtle that others do not have the ability to perceive. In the confrontation with the other, he tends to present his ideas as unquestionable, and feels entitled to correct others.

Seductiveness

This sexual subtype conquers with an erotic seduction without a display of feathers or a sexually attractive image according to this passion; rather, he gets closer in an intimate way, sending messages of interest and with the physical closeness of a contact that can even be delicate.
Obviously, he can use mental attunement or interest in the intellectual but, in any case, among the E5 subtypes he is the most sensually daring.
Your search for the ideal partner can make you compulsively seduce different people at the same time. He is very adept at not taking a clear initiative; Rather, he weaves a web into which the other person falls. This strategy avoids direct rejection and hides his relational awkwardness; Above all, this way he controls his fear of intimacy and the instinctive impulse.
Acting from the compartmentalization, maintaining different relationships at the same time, finally allows him not to enter into emotional chaos or the guilt of the betrayal. Many sexual E5 admit to being unfaithful with a certain “easiness”, just as they withdraw or disappear if the relationship no longer pleases them or it creates problems for them.

Romantic

The sexual E5 is the most emotional of the E5. Romanticism is the way in which he allows himself to be carried away by emotions. More than in the couple relationship, although also, romanticism emerges in contact with music, art or nature. It's easier when listening to music to feel your heartbeat or surrender to abandonment, something. that would be experienced as very dangerous in the human relationship.

Claudio Naranjo's Sexual 5 Description

E5 Sexual – Trust

The word trust would be the basic issue for the sexual five. Among them there are many poets or artists. Nijinsky was such a five. He had an extreme expressiveness, but cut in many ways.

If you try to find the difference between the sexual E5 and the other subtypes of the five, it will not be easy. But if you go into conversation with them, you'll hear them say that they feel very passionate about a person; usually about a person they can't find in their lives. Here occurs a case similar to the extraordinary in the search for the social five — the extraordinary would be what is at the top of the totem pole: the sexual E5 seeks a very tall exemplar. The same goes for love: this subtype is on a quest for absolute love, and their quest is so strong that if you are the one being sought, it is very difficult to pass the test. If someone is looking for the absolute, it is very easy for him to be disappointed.

We have to understand this passionate search in the sense of trust, of being able to trust the other: the sexual E5 is looking for that person who will be for him and with him, regardless of how or what, far beyond normal vows of an engagement or marriage. The thought of the sexual five is that he has to be able to present himself to you with the worst of his inner world, and that you, as his partner, should maintain complete equanimity in the face of his inner monsters, since he loves you so much…

So he lives the love of a couple as a kind of ideal, but it is an ideal that does not exist in the world of humans. The sexual E5 is quite romantic — this is the minus five of the E5s. They can be very similar to the other five until you hit the romantic point: then a vibrant inner life will be awakened. Chopin can be a good example of it. Who if not the most romantic among composers? Chopin was more of an aristocrat. He was a bit stiff. Someone who knew him quite well—Liszt's mistress—said of him that she was like an oyster with icing: he wasn't very open, he wasn't open to deep intimacy, except with one or two people in his life. Chopin came from Poland and came to France as a teenager, but he did not make any new friends in France. He was in the center of high society, and his whole sentimental life was replaced by music.